This is wonderful news. You'll be able to help out family, top up that new phone — hell, you'll almost be able to afford a house in Auckland.
But seriously, Steven baby, you're going to have people surrounding you now, trying to influence what you should spend all of that beautiful sumptuous cash money on. And quite naturally those discussions will eventually wind up on what car, or cars, you should buy.
That's where I come in, Steveio. Consider this, Driven's Thursday Five for November 3, 2016, a letter of automotive recommendation. Here is what you should buy.
Volvo S60 Polestar
Celebrity is a vicious wee thing, but you seem to take it in your stride. In every media interview you're you, and that's fantastic. We need more people to carry themselves like that. Nobody likes robots, but everyone likes you Steve.
Apart from maybe that dude that elbowed you in the Dick Johnson last season.
But I digress, sometimes we celebrities need to duck out of the limelight and into the darkness, searching for peace and solitude. In this vain, I recommend the humble Volvo S60 Polestar.
The amateur would've recommended a Ford Focus RS, but they don't get you like I do, Stevia. The RS is a wicked pocket knife of a thing, but it is a bit harsh for daily use.
Instead I hold up the S60, a more subdued and soft take on the small performance car. It's quick, it's comfortable, and in the big expanses of ye old America, it'll blend in perfectly.
McLaren 570 S
Of course, Stefan, a supercar of some kind is required.
But you don't want a Ferrari or a Lamborghini — those are too cliché, too Dennis Rodman.
What you want is something that carries less of that cultural coin, something straight and true, something that has approximately 84 Kiwis crammed into its design.
You of course want a McLaren 570.
The 650 Long Tail is lovely, but I don't see you as a lover of the ‘bigger booty’. That's why I've earmarked a 570. It's much easier to use on a daily basis, but just as gorgeous to sit inside, and as quick as you could ever need a car to be.
1988 Nissan Cefiro
But even though the McLaren has Kiwis embossed and moulded into almost every panel, some might say that it's not an accurate representation of New Zealand car culture.
To which I do have a counter-suggestion Stevie Nicks; the holy beloved ‘Ceffy’ Cefiro.
No car sums up New Zealand car culture more accurately than a rough as guts, slammed to the floor, 369,000kms on the clock, Cefiro. Preferably in guacamole vomit green.
An unassuming car on the outside made famous by its engine, its rear-wheel drive configuration, and the opportunistic ‘little Johnny's’ tearing up suburban backstreets with them in a desperate search for e-fame.
A car to remind you of New Zealand.
Lincoln Continental Convertible
Of course, we can't ignore the fact Stanley that you're astronomically tall — 11ft 3" to be exact. We also can't ignore the fact that you possess one of the most glorious heads of hair to grace world sport since Andre Agassi's mullet.
What pairs perfectly with both of those factors? It has to be a convertible.
But of course, we aren't talking any convertible. We're talking about a Lincoln Conti’; a pinnacle of car cool. Swag, as the kids would say.
A huge whale of a cruiser, the Continental will serve you well as both as source of calm and something that will endear you to an American audience. Old school American luxury and style propelled by old school American muscle.
Actually, just wait for someone to offer you a free car in a sponsorship deal
You didn't love Kias before? You'll love them now after they inevitably offer you a free Carnival in Champagne Beige, in exchange for a billboard or six.