Meet the ugliest SUV ever made; the 540kW Techart Magnum Sport
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I'm proud of Porsche in some ways. They copped a bit of flak when they first revealed the Cayenne and Panamera to the world just after the turn of the century — mainly due to the duo's subjective styling.
But as the years have rolled on, both cars have arrived at a point where people rather like their looks. And barely anyone batted an eyelid when they introduced another SUV, the Macan crossover, in 2014.
But, Techart's newly launched Cayenne-based project helps wind the clock back to those dark days. It may well be the ugliest Cayenne ever made.
They call it the Magnum Sport, which in all honesty sounds like it was generated by a machine that takes two random words that sound cool and whacks them together. But that level of crudeness though suits it somewhat, considering the stacks upon stacks of vents, fins, holes bestowed upon this creature — each of them more offensive than the last.
This isn't Techart's first Cayenne rodeo, with the German firm having produced Magnum Sport editions of previous Cayennes in the past. But, this one quite easily takes the 'I'm offended' cake. It's worth noting that Techart's portfolio of modified performance weapons includes a raft of more tasteful vehicles. But, that's not the point.
At the very least though, it all seems to serve a purpose. The Techart Magnum Sport is a pretty quick beast; packing 540kW underneath that perforated exterior, via a fettled version of Porsche's 4.8-litre twin-turbo V8 from the Cayenne Turbo (20kW more than standard). It is possible though to order a Techart Magnum Sport based around any kind of current Cayenne, including the hybrid if you're a lover of mixed messages.
This particular machine celebrates Techart's 30th annversary, which is why it's decked out with multiple references to the number on its front fenders, boot lid, and in the interior.
Speaking of, don't think that the interior gets away with just being stock standard — it gains some thick not-so-subtle neon red highlights, unique badging, deep bucket seats in the rear, and a symphony of Alcantara and carbon fibre are among the changes.
I'll have to pass this time around, Techart.