There's 'warm hatch', there's 'hot hatches', and then there's this utter hell beast from Germany.
Not that 'hell beast' is the first term that comes to mind when you spot the unassuming black Mk2 Volkswagen Golf. Still wearing original bumpers all round and what appear to be standard wheels. It's more 'trainee dentist' or 'student's first car' than hell beast.
It's built by the team at Boba Racing, who have a curious knack of turning glorified shopping trolleys from the 80s and 90s (most of which being Volkswagens) into diabolical world beaters.
And this, like their other creations, isn't your standard Golf. It's all-wheel drive, for one, and those wheels are all fed power by slightly more potent engine; an E85-fuelled 2.0-litre ABF inline four-cylinder from a newer generation of Golf.
It's the addition of a (quite big) turbo that makes the difference though, this one in particular capable of making 64 pounds of boost. With the mumbo it brings to the party, this tiny old Golf slams 1233hp and 806lb.-ft (919kW and 1092Nm) onto the table.
Drag slicks and a slick sequential gearbox seal the deal and, as you can see in the clip, it's a serious weapon in a straight line. An 8.67-second quarter-mile pass at 281kph is the result.
That makes it quicker down the strip faster than all sorts of things. It's almost two-seconds quicker than a top-spec Tesla Model S, and a second quicker than the already insane Bugatti Veyron Super Sport.
It's a true sleeper from head to toe.