World Armageddon confirmed as BMW reveals grotesque ute
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Yes, the attached images are real. No smoke and mirrors, no fake renders ... BMW has genuinely made a ute. Although mind you, it isn't heading into production any time soon.
Based on the luxurious, enormous X7 SUV, the pick-up is a real BMW-designed and built beast. The "one-off project" will be presented at this year's BMW Motorrad Days event as a perfect supporting act to the various motorbikes in attendance.
Like many of these weird and wonderful (wonder's a subjective term obviously) one-off creations, the X7 pick-up was engineered by BMW's Concept Vehicle Construction and Model Technology divisions the German brand's Munich plant.
Compared to its behemoth SUV cousin it's 100mm longer, with a 1400mm bed perched on the rear behind the passenger cell. In its construction, BMW utilised lightweight materials like CFRP for things like the roof and back doors — subsequently shaving approximately 200kg off the X7's weight.
It's not all about next-gen materials, however.
The bed in the back is lined with handcrafted teak (Toyota Hilux and Ford Ranger, are you listening?) and the weird nautical theme that seems to engulf every second adventure concept made by a luxury brand is completed by a pair of silver grab-handled down the back, and a coat or two of Tanzanite Blue on the bodywork.
Like it or not, this is an ambitious project. Curiously, in side-on profile shots that newly crafted rear end looks similar in profile to that of the Rolls-Royce Cullinan. Given that RR are owned by BMW, it'd make sense that engineers would have access to that most exquisite of parts bins.
Overall, I think it looks heinous. But, beauty is in the eye of the beholder I suppose.
This isn't the first time that Bavarian Motor Works has made an oddball ute concept. In the early teens they also attacked the back end of an E92 M3, converting it into an HSV Maloo–like V8 ute beast.
However, things have changed a little in the time since. The world now expects luxury manufacturers to be looking down the pathway of utes — especially following Mercedes-Benz's launch of the X-Class ute last year.
So, could BMW do the same thing?
Well, if they did, it'd probably end up being in a similar arrangement to the X-Class in the sense of being based on a shared platform. Even mainstream brands that at one point recently did these things all on their lonesome are buddying up with one another.
So, in a fantasy hypothetical world, who would BMW buddy with?
Well, as crazy as it sounds, the most likely taker would probably be Toyota. The pair of companies have worked together on the Z4 and Supra respectively, with the partnership also including access to Toyota's hybrid technology and BMW's diesel technology.
BMW could wedge one of its diesel donks under the bonnet of the off-road capable Hilux platform, and then wrap it up in a twin-kidney BMW design.
Weirder things have happened before ...